Friday, August 29, 2008

To Do: Friday August 29th - Monday September 1st

For this long weekend Dave has decided to reveal a deep dark secret. One that he wished no one would ever find out. To help him cope with revealing such dark news is his good friend Greg Myers. Once you learn this dark and sordid chapter of Dave's life you may not like him as much but you must remember that he too is human, he too bleeds. So please watch this video carefully and let god have mercy on Dave Canseco, may god have mercy on us all.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

To Do: Thursday August 28th, 2008

The secret to living with somebody is giving them their space. By letting each other be their own person you can thrive as a household. Today Dave's roommate Katie stops by to help us all learn a valuable lesson about the joys roommate-dom. Let's watch the magic happen!

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

To Do: Wednesday August 27th, 2008

It's been a while since Dave has checked in with his good pal Greg Myers! I wonder what hijinks good old Greg has gotten himself into these days. Well lucky for us he's here to let us know!

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

To Do: Tuesday August 26th, 2008

"Excuse me is your refrigerator running?" Oh what a classic gag. Well, Dave has one in store for us tonight and let me tell you it's a doozie. Oh Dave you little trickster one day you're going to face a jury for your crimes against boredom but right now you're just the comic fugitive of ha ha's. Have a good Tuesday everybody!

Monday, August 25, 2008

To Do: Monday August 25th, 2008

Not everyday is a gift and in the rough times we all muscle through them. Today Dave's not exactly having the best day but luckily he always has the wise words his mother has instilled in him. Well, let's all wish Dave some luck and for those of you out there have a good Monday!

Friday, August 22, 2008

To Do: Friday August 22nd- Sunday August 24th 2008

Sometime a cause comes along that we must all fight for. An injustice that is just so wrong that we must all get together and make a stand. Well, this is Dave's moment and this is his stand. He's not going to sit on his ass as the events that affect him unfold to determine the course of his life. He's going to take a stand. He's going to defend it. Right or wrong, He's going to defend it.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

To Do: Thursday August 21st, 2008

Sometimes the best way to get to know somebody is not but what they say but by looking at what they own. It's true a person's possessions do tend to define the person. Well, today Dave Canseco takes us on a tour of the things he holds most dear. It's quite a pleasant trip and I know you all will enjoy the ride.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

To Do: Wednesday August 20th, 2008

Ah Wednesday, the dreaded hump day. What to do? What to do? The week is half over or has it half begun? Well, in tonight's installment of Crysturbating to do's Dave Canseco tackles these topics and searches for the true answer.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

To Do: Tuesday August 19th, 2008

In order to be a true adult one must be able to confront their fears. For some people that's organized labor, for others it's the fear of heights, for Dave Canseco it's a bee sting. Today Dave confronts his fear, and today Dave is a real man.

Monday, August 18, 2008

To Do: Monday August 18th, 2008

A wise man once said,"Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end." Well, as Dave enters month two of his life as the crysturbating to do expert he's come to some new beginnings. So let's see what he's got in store for us. I hope it's a real treat.

Bummer UPDATE: I was futzing with the youtube account and accidently deleted this original video, anyway here's the intro without my intro about being too lame and depressing. So for those of you who come back and watch the videos a day later I'm sorry.

Friday, August 15, 2008

To Do: Friday August 15th- Sunday August 17th 2008

It's party time! That's right Dave's officially been our resident To Do guru for a month now! So let's put on your party pants and don your Sunday bests and join Dave in the festivities!

Thursday, August 14, 2008

To Do: Thursday August 14th, 2008

Giving back: We all do it sometimes. Whether it is just to keep us humble or just to remember that working together is the only way to keep this world turning. Well, today Dave is giving something back to us all. So let's sit back and enjoy this little treat from the Canseco compound.

To Do: Wednesday August 13th, 2008

Sometimes we all find ourselves in a sticky situation. It's the way we get out of them that shows our true character. With what Dave has shown us today it's safe to say that he is a man that is pure of heart. I couldn't ask for more from the person who tells me what to do over the internet. Three Cheers for Canseco!

I'm Sorry

Due to some horrible horrible internet issues we weren't able to post last night's To Do video. Fear not however it was shot and it will be posted shortly.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

To Do: Tuesday August 12th, 2008

The quest to be original: In this day and age that's one of the most difficult things out to do. With a world population over 6 billion people it's hard to make your mark in this world. Well, Dave Canseco is striving to do just that. With the help of his new friend Micki I think it might just happen.


What's a gay horse eat?


Hi everybody, it's Associate Fellow of the Fun Bureau, Nacho Friendly here. I hope you're all enjoying the Olympics and waffles the world's offering you these days. I highly recommend them both. If you live in the Hollywood area, and have a hankerin' for Olympics, you gotta go with Big Wangs where they offer a cornucopia of flat-screens for your eye hunger. After you wear yourself out cheering on the United States of Awesome, you're gonna wanna carb up. Saunter, amble or mosey over to Kitchen 24, whose literally open all day and all night.

All shilling aside, this is a great time to be in LA. It's right before the Santa Ana's come in and make the weather oppressive. Football's about to start at the high school, college, and professional level. The 2008 models need to make room for the 2009s, despite the fact that it's not even autumn. There's probably going to be some ridiculously bad movies coming over the next month, so check those out.

Lemme lay some perspective on ya: I just drove cross-country last week, starting with my feet in the water of the Atlantic. Y'know what it's like out there? It's fucking hot. But not only is it hot, it's fucking humid. The people are really friendly tho. I think the world would like Americans more if they could only talk with toothless third shifters at Shell stations along Interstate 40. But only if they're forbidden of talking about anything of consequence. But y'know, despite how awesome people are throughout America, you never feel truly loved until some giant SUV tries to cross the double line from the HOV lane on the 210 in Pasadena. I guess what I'm saying is, it's good to be back. We've still got a few more weeks of summer and I trust you all will heed my advice and show LA some love.

Monday, August 11, 2008

To Do: Monday August 11th, 2008

Hop on the lollipop railroad everyone because Dave's taking us on a trip to the imagination station! That's right along with his little friend "Sockie" Dave is here to tell us what's going on tonight. Remember when you use your imagination anything is possible!

Friday, August 8, 2008

To Do: Friday August 8th - Sunday August 10th 2008

Perseverance. Sticking something out till the end. These are all qualities we look for when things get tough. Well, things just got tough for Dave and he's sticking with it! Good for you Dave!

Have a good weekend everybody.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

To Do: Thursday August 7th, 2008

The Big Bopper once said, "there ain't no cure for the summertime blues." Later he died in a plane crash with Richie Valens and Buddy Holly. Luckily, Dave Canseco does not believe in that sentiment. Today he teaches us that cure and today will be the greatest day of our lives.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

To Do: Wednesday August 6th, 2008

It's a family affair yet again for our resident to-do'er. This time Dave's brother Zack joins in on the fun to help guide you and your night out tonight. I think it's going to be a real hoot!

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

To Do: Tuesday August 5th, 2008

Dave Canseco
Dave as it ever was
{Nonesuch Records}
Rating: 10.0

Discovering the new summer song. We all search for it. We all yearn to believe that there is one anthem every year that can carry us over the long summer days and short summer nights. Today Dave Canseco has found that tune. Today we are ready to begin the summer. Today we are truly free!

Monday, August 4, 2008

To Do: Monday August 4th, 2008

Kicking back with an ice cold beer and relaxing. That's every man's dream when he comes home from a nice long day at work. Well, in today's installment of crysturbating to do's Dave Canseco does exactly that and he's inviting us all to do the same. Cheers Dave! And Cheers to all of you out there.

Friday, August 1, 2008

To Do: Friday August 1st - August 3rd 2008

New Year's resolutions. They're usually given up by February 1st. But not for Dave. He's a real go-getter. Someone who never says die. It's times like these that we need more Dave Canseco's out there.