Thursday, July 31, 2008

To Do: Thursday July 31, 2008

A wise man once said that 50% of art is experimentation. If that's the case then Dave Canseco is the greatest artist the world has ever known. The level he has taken the to do video rivals the work of great artists such as Rembramdt, Van Gough, and Andy Warhol. Bravo Dave! Bravo!

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

To Do: Wednesday July 30th, 2008

The truth is out there, it's just a matter of how far we're willing to look for it. Sometimes it's in a deep and buried place that no one dares to search. Well, Dave Canseco isn't afraid and one day he will find what we're all looking for. One day I dream to be half the man he is. One day.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

To Do: Tuesday July 29th, 2008

"Make new friends but keep the old one is silver and the other is gold" No truer words have ever been spoken. Well in today's installment one of Dave's "gold" friends, Greg Myers, stops by to join the fun. I wonder what these kooky kids will think up.

Monday, July 28, 2008

To Do: Monday July 28th, 2008

Getting in shape. In this day of video games and sausages wrapped in pancakes on a stick it's getting tougher than ever. Well, our precocious little scamp/late night guide Dave Canseco is going to give it a go. Godspeed Dave!

Friday, July 25, 2008

Welcome: Mr. Feelings!

Hello friends! Just announcing some site news starting next week former "Incredible Mr. Limpet" and "Will Leitch Ruined My Birthday" genius, Mr. Feelings, will be contributing a column once a week to this little blog. You'll enjoy it I promise.

In the meantime please enjoy this Futureheads video.

To Do: Friday July 25th - Sunday July 27th 2008

Raising funds these days can be tough. Fortunately Dave Canseco is here to show you a sure fire way to raise some quick cash.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

To Do: Thursday July 24th, 2008

When things look their darkest you can always look to a parent to give you a helping hand. Dave Canseco's been going through some tough times lately but fortunately his mom is there to make him feel all better. Good luck Dave and to everyone else have fun tonight.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

To Do: Wednesday July 23rd, 2008

Love is in the air for our resident late night guide, so let's sit back and watch as he prepares for a night out on the town with a lady at his side.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

To Do: Tuesday July 22, 2008

With the recent news that Ebert and Roeper are hanging it up, Dave Canseco is standing up where other's don't dare to bring intelligent movie reviews to the masses. Tonight's installment: Christopher Nolan's "The Dark Knight." I suggest not seeing this movie until you see the definitive Canseco review.

Monday, July 21, 2008

To Do: Monday July 21st, 2008

Challenges. We all have them in our life. For Charlie Brown it was kicking that damn football, The Colts couldn't beat the Patriots, and Dave Canseco can't finish a burrito. But dammit we all go out there we try and we keep fighting on, and if that's not the crysturbating spirit I don't know what is.

Friday, July 18, 2008

Terrible News Everyone

Unfortunately we won't be running a to do video tonight because Dave Canseco is out on assignment elsewhere, but fear not crysturbators we'll be back next week with more videos and actual posts from contributors Nacho Friendly and 10lb Moustache. Until then everyone have a good weekend and enjoy this little music video from the replacements.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

To Do: Thursday July 17, 2008

Do you believe in magic? Because Dave Canseco does. The magic in a young girls heart as well as a magical night out on the town in Los Angeles. So prepare yourselves as Dave is about to blow your mind!

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

To Do: Wednesday July 16th, 2008

Once in a great while a prophet comes along to lead you to the promised land. The Jews had Moses, Christian's have Jesus, and now LA has Dave Canseco. Please welcome him to the crysturbating family.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

What is Crysturbating?


Function: verb

: the act of crying whilst masturbating.

So why name a blog this? The answer is simple really: we believe that no matter how bad things get we won't let anything ruin our good time. Basically we're the people who dance at shows, we're the people who sing bad karaoke, we're the people who keep the party going. Oh and we're also most definitely NOT like this

We've noticed that although there are many blogs about living in the city of Los Angeles most of them are just plain obnoxious. We're here to change all that. Hopefully you'll enjoy the ride.