I'm really proud of this

My girlfriend's dad sent me this link.

This is the letter I wrote in response:

To whom it may concern:

My name is David Canseco, I'm a 28 year old community college student with dreams. Dreams that have yet to this day never been accomplished for you see all my life I've only wanted to do one thing and that is to be a world renown magician who moonlights as a private investigator.

My parents laughed at this idea, my friends call me an idiot, no one believes in me, or my dream. But I still dare to dream. Dare to be a magician who runs a small yet successful private investigation firm out of his apartment. Dare to make large buildings disappear, dare to get in long drawn out car chases through the hills of Malibu in my 1978 GTO,because dammit this is America the land of opportunity, the land where dreams come true.

I think in total this little dream of mine will cost near or around $150,000 for magic lessons and supplies as well as getting bonded and trained as a private investigator as well as my late 70's American made muscle car. Yes, it is a lot of money but consider this an investment in one hell of a future.

My phone number is ### ###-#### and i've attached some photos to let you know what a looker I am.

Thank you,

David Canseco

Thank You!

I'd really add more but I'm sure I'm the only one that'll see this.

Blow up my car

My car has been the bane of my existence for the past 2 years please vote for this video and help me preserve what was once my sanity. Thank you.

Dave

Yeah...

It's amazing how quickly a night can devolve into drinking irish whiskey and listening to pain-killer era wilco.

Bee Debate Public Access Show

This week we study the effects of introducing africanized honey bees to middle america, not really the captain just cries about his dead son again.

Why I love craigslist

So I'm going to take some time off from my Conan O'Brien to share with you all the greatest single response I've ever gotten from a craigslist ad. Let's turn back the clocks to 2007 I was just moving into a 3 bedroom apartment and I needed to find a 3rd roommate so like anyone I put up a craigslist ad. A few days later I got this response:

"Thanks for getting back to me...everything sound cool and alright,......wenny...27yrs of age from usa,i will like to secure the room before my arrival and i will be checking in 2week time... the deposit fees will be made out to you soonestto avoid any delay.Here is little about me,Am very humble and easy going lady.. i do modelling and humanitarian work for a living, i love my work becos it make me travelled alot...i was born in usa , but presently i will moving in to the usa finally from Belgium , so all the paymentarrangement is being take care of by my boss, i love swimming,and going to cinema house..i love to makepeople laugh, i bet it you will enjoy having me asyour roommate, am not married, no kids.i love to enjoythe best of life... i will like to have the full name,address, city,state, zipcode, home phone,cellphone.so that i can get this across to my boss for quick payment for the deposit, becos is a busy man, he will be speaking onbehalf of me .but i will tell him
to call you anytime but in the meantime you can get back to me with the information to avoid any delay with your contact details for the payment...i will love to read more of you and also if you have a pics of youself and the room you can send it to me.i will be looking forward to read from you"

Unfortunately Wenny didn't end up taking the room, and my heart still aches to this day.

THE SINGLE GREATEST CRIME IN THE HISTORY OF HUMANITY

Hi everybody! Hey why don't you go ahead and watch this video above. Go ahead! It's fun! Oh getting a little bored? Why don't you fastfoward a bit, let's say to the 6:15 mark of the clip. Oh hey there's a cute little dance! One that looks oddly familiar...Where have I seen that before?



OH SHIT THAT'S RIGHT THAT'S MY DANCE! DAMN YOU CONAN O'BRIEN DAMN YOU TO YOUR DIRTY GINGER HELL THAT YOU WILL ROT IN FOREVER!